(no subject)

[birdflip]

Hi everyone, my name is Alex and I'll be playing this little turd, Craig Tucker from South Park. He's basically a stoic little piece of garbage who loves flipping people off, swearing when he can get away with it (it makes him soooo happy), and being brutally honest ... as brutally honest as a 10 year old boy can be, anyway, so you can imagine how that turns out.

He does not like excitement or drama and just wants to be a normal kid who doesn't have to deal with the kind of bullshit Kenny and his friends get into, so he is not going to be happy about this turn of events. Haha. He basically has no tact whatsoever so I apologize in advance for any dickery that may happen. In that "sorry not sorry" way. :')

Feel free to add me on Plurk for plotting purposes: dhurrrrs! I'm very much looking forward to this!

Comments

[chronic]

ready to die?!?!?!

[birdflip]

YOU can die, Kenny. He isn't here to make friends. He is here to win.

[chronic]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at South Park Elementary, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret wars with Hell, and I have over 300 confirmed deaths. I am trained in classical singing (in Romania) and I’m the top sniper when it comes to protecting NASCAR's reputation. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across our quiet little mountain town and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can die in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just on a daily basis. Not only am I extensively trained in Magic: the Gathering, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Heaven's army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[birdflip]

ok but I can shoot sparks out of my eyes

[chronic]

*angsty voice* i can't die